'The Palm Without the DUST' by R.B.

 

'The Palm Without the DUST'

(a short life of Archibald Primrose, 5th Earl of Rosebery.)

 

Born with a silver spoon in his mouth,

   Lord Dalmeny succeeded

To vast riches and high estate

   Almost before he needed.

 

He naturally went to Eton,

   And then to Christ-Church College,-

But training a horse meant more to him

   Than striving after knowledge.

 

He found a suitable Heiress, –

   Married 'because she was there',

She brought him a fortune, – and Mentmore,

   And gave him a son and an heir.

 

He travelled at large round the Empire,

   But then his troubles began,–

He supported Gladstone on Ireland,

   And succeeded the 'Grand Old Man'.

 

He was certainly highly ambitious

   And successful 'on his day',

He managed to win the Derby three times,

   But not to get his own way.

 

A 'fascinating failure',

   He stood on all kinds of planks, –

And had to lay Foundation Stones

   And inspect water tanks.

 

He worried so much that he could not sleep

   For longer than an hour:

He had to conciliate Harcourt; –

   'I never did have power'.

 

He had to mix with the' hoi polloi'

   'Chaffed by the populace':

He could not stoop to ordinary tasks

   With his high and haughty face.

 

So, when defeated at the polls,

   He treated the news with disdain,

He  buried himself in his libraries,

   And never held office again.

 

Dejected after the death of his wife,

   He hoped to marry again;

He hung up his hat to a Royal Princess, –

   But, alas, his suit was in vain.

 

A sudden stroke overcame him –

   Though his constitution was strong:

He made his exit to the strains

   Of the Eton boating-song.

 

He knew (and wrote) about heroes,

   Was acquainted with love, – and with lust; –

But he failed to fulfill his promise

   Because he couldn't cope with DUST.